I am waiting for a logical end....

When I looked out of office window today, the world out was not the same. The horizon, although decorated by millions of lights,bore a glow which was some what toned down. The City Of Joy was some what searching for its own joy. I saw the road which passed right next to my office building. It was babbling with activity both varied and exciting. People running around to catch buses or cabs. Few people stood around road side stalls discussing the days thorough fare.

I was looking through the window. But something was amiss. What was it, that was evading my eyes? Rather what was my eyes searching for? I cleaned my specks and pondered a little more and let out a sigh. Thanks I was not one of those people running or rather chasing those smoke bellowing buses. I was not the one who was shoving others or was shoved by others. With this satisfaction I sat down  my cubicle but my mind was roaming with those people around chasing buses. Someone deep inside me was cajoling me back to the window. Someone was coaxing me to again get to the window and look at those people. Someone inside me was telling me that I was also one of them. But wait a second. I am not like them. After all I am working with a big MNC which everyone wants to be a part of. (The story is altogether different for me though as I bitch it like hell).

Whatever, I again stood at the window and decided it was time for me to get down and take a walk through the dusty road. After all this is the same road which lies silent like the gathering of dead's during the day time. The silence that tears through my soul is some what the same which this road bears daily. This is the road which will take me to the path of success. It never matters how silent or lonely the journey might turn out to be. I don't care. What I actually care is that, the end should be what I want it to be. But here the end is also disputed. What I want to achieve is very ambiguous. I have always set objectives in front of myself. Achieved them and then again set another batch of objectives. This is how I have gone about my entire life. So a definite goal of life is definitely elusive is my case. So the
end which everyone thinks of is very distant in my case.

How much ambitious I have become. I used to believe in making relationships that would have been cherished forever through life. But that was when I was in school. When I was in college. But now the game is altogether different. I even don't feel like listening to other's words let alone their aspirations, their dreams. I have been built up into a machine that is only designed to achieve. Achieve what, is still not defined. But achieve the zenith which none has ever scaled. I have been shaped to face all the emotions of life yet be the one without any emotions. I want to love someone. Feel the love of someone. But is love so easily available commodity?

Might be my eyes are trying to find out the eyes which will provide a solace and resting place for my ragged soul. At least a shoulder which will be the ultimate resting place. The ears which will share and keep the secrets which even i wouldn't dare say to my parents. A friend whom I can even trust with my life. One person for whom I can give everything in this mortal life. The incongruences of this life are far too much to handle single handedly.
 
But hello, I am awoken from my thoughts. Dropped dead by the desire of my eyes, I had forgotten the realities of life. My mobile was ringing aloud reminding me that my cubicle lay vacant waiting for my presence. Woken and totally torn apart, I dragged my self back to the world I have lived and hated like anything. I want to break free after all. Some one help me. Some one please listen to me..!!!!!